I distinctly remember the moment that was the catalyst that set into motion small changes that have slowly transformed my life.
Not surprisingly if you know me or read this blog, it was at the 2012 IN Spartan Sprint. My very first OCR. It was bitter cold. The temperature hovered around 40 and the sun was nowhere to be seen. My brother, Jon, my dad, my sister-in-law, and I arrived at the course to see people swimming across a lake, carrying logs, hurdling over logs eight feet in the air. To put it simply, I was scared shitless. This was not what I signed up for. These races were supposed to be fun runs. This could not have been further from the truth. I wholeheartedly believed I was going to die. That I was not able to do this race. I asked Jon to stick with me and help me through it. However, he was more interested in competing with my brother. We fought. I begged him to stick with me, we were married after all. Yet, he insisted on running at his own pace. It was bad enough that my dad and sister-in-law walked away because it was uncomfortable. Here I was at the starting corral, petrified, upset, and fighting with my husband. Once Drop Kick Murphy's started playing, we took off with Jon speeding ahead. At one point he looked back for me, and at that point I just told him to go on. I'll do it by myself. And I did. And it was incredibly scary and insane. I met some people along the way here and there, just as I do now when I race. There were folks who helped me when I needed it. I remember when standing at the lake crossing hearing my dad cheering for me to go for it. Telling me I can do it. So I swam across that damn lake. And I felt amazing. I had just swam across a lake in 40 degree weather with my dad and sister-in-law in winter coats watching on. The tempo really changed for me. I went into my fighter mode and picked up my pace.
At some point after this when I was mostly alone on the trails, I felt this surge of empowerment. Here I was, doing what I thought could not be done and on my own. I am capable of conquering amazing feats with solely me as the support. I seriously felt all, "I am woman hear me roar." And at that point I reached down, swiped my index fingers in mud and swooped them across cheeks like war paint. That was the moment. That was transformation. The sheer surge of empowerment has stuck with me for 2 years now. That course released something that was buried way down deep that I had forgotten about. It released my essential being, who I am. The nature girl. The lover of adventure. The eternal optimist. The girl who believes in Disney movies. The hard worker. The laborer. The athlete. The fighter.
IN Spartan Sprint 2012 will always hold a special place in my heart and will always be my favorite race. Since that first race in 2012 I have accomplished more than I ever could imagine. I traveled to IL and TX to race. I became obsessed with nutrition and the healing power of food. I changed jobs. I left a position with a small company because I was unhappy and did not foresee an opportunity for growth. I joined Merrill Lynch and passed both my Series 7 and 66 within 7 months on my own time. Then I chose to stay with my team when we transitioned over to Morgan Stanley where I continue to thrive in the industry and play a key role. I have met many, many, many amazing people through the sport of OCR who continually inspire me with their own Super Hero conquests of glory. My outlook on life has changed. I want more out of life because of this moment. More importantly, I have the courage and faith in myself to go after it.
That being said, I am running this weekend's race not so much to compete but to celebrate. I don't think you'll see me this weekend without a smile slapped across my face just grateful to have tromped through that dirt 2 years ago and appreciative of everything the sport has given me. Aroo!
