Tough Mudder Recap

I asked James if he wanted to write the race recap. His response/recap:

Hi, I'm James.
F*ck Tough Mudder.
The End.

Short, sweet, succinct. A true expression of how he was feeling the Monday (2 days) after the race. My recap is going to be a bit longer, but with just the highlights. It took us between 4-5 hours to conquer all 12 miles. Obviously, that would be a really long post if I covered all 5 hours. So here's the important stuff.

The Who Dey Crew: Brendan, Me, James, Taylor, TJ, Dave

I went in with very low expectations. I have heard the horror stories of TM, their parking debacles, their poor safety standards, etc. I was proven wrong. We did have to park off site and take a shuttle to the course, but there was no shortage of shuttles. They were constantly running and we didn't have to wait more than 5 minutes before or after the race. When the bus came to pick us up after the race, the driver had the heat cranked. Super, duper bonus points to that driver. As far as before the race, packet pick up and bag check was a breeze. Everything was well marked. To pick up your bib, we just had to find the area of the tent where we fit alphabetically. There must have been 25 sections, so no long line to wait in. Once through the packet pick up, there were volunteers ready to mark our foreheads and arms with our bib numbers. Once we bibbed up, the boys dropped their bags at bag check. Again, very organized. They were divided by bib number. They gave you a "bracelet" that you stuck on your bag that had your bib number on it. You simply found your bib area and gave the volunteers your bag. And it was included in the registration.

Now the fun stuff. I don't remember the order of the obstacles, nor am I going to go through them one by one. This is simply the highlights and what I remember. I included the course map here if you're curious. First, to get to the start line, you had to go up and over an 8 foot wall. Gotta love a race that makes you work to even start. Once we were all up and over, off we went on our adventure. Jon was able to watch the first few obstacles, hence the pictures. We crawled under some barbed wire. Then had to march through mud, which was more like clay so our feet didn't sink.



Catching my breath



Shortly after was the Arctic Enema. Keep in mind, the weather hovered around 45 degrees the whole time we were out there. This obstacle consisted of a tub filled with ice cubes with a wall in the middle you had to go under. You had to go under because they put barbed wire above the wall. When it was my turn, I noticed there were quite a few people waiting on the other side of the wall to get out, including my teammate Brendan. So I waited till a few people actually clamored out. While I waited I got yelled at by the volunteers and I also told people behind me they were more than welcome to go around, but I was waiting until it cleared out some. There is strategy in OCR. The whole smarter, not harder mentality comes in play. Either way I was waiting. The question was, was I standing in ice or not. Nobody went by me. Finally, I hopped in and made it to the wall. Hesitation. Again, the volunteers were yelling at me to go under and I shook my head no. The wall went down to my knees. I tried to think of every possible way to avoid this, but the race directors apparently thought this one through. Eventually, I mustered up the courage and went under. Feet first, grabbing the bottom of the wall and pulling myself through. Brendan said my face once up was priceless. I'm sure it was. Pretty sure, the breath was knocked out of me. I now have a new found sympathy for all of those aboard the Titanic. An Alaskan cruise is out for the foreseeable future.

This was the last time we'd see Jon for a while. I can remember bits and parts. The terrain was tough or awesome depending on who you ask. It was hilly and steep. Any course that is on an Off Road facility is going to be hilly. Also, courses on Ski Resorts will be mountainous. Courses on Farms are flat. Race directors will use the terrain to their advantage or your disadvantage. You've been informed. Train accordingly. So I was happy. We went through woods and up and down hills. Perfect Saturday for me. Early on, we did the Dirty Ballerina which was jumping over trenches filled with water. I learned a sweet Super Hero pose from a fellow racer. Taylor fell, a lot. In fact Taylor fell the entire course. It was his thing. There were more walls to go up and over. These were higher, so we had to help each other over. We had to go over a hay pyramid. This again required team help to pull each other up. There was a Lincoln Log looking obstacles where we had to go over and under logs. That was fun.

The biggest mental obstacle was one the directors did not map out. We did the fire obstacle, which was smokey and wet. It ended with a jump over fire into a 10 foot deep muddy water pit. I did a sweet Can Opener with a Tarzan holler or something remotely like that. All was good and gravy. Then we had to stand in line. For what? We had no idea. But we waited, and waited, and waited. We were wet and cold. There was nothing we could do, but wait. There were people in front of us and behind us. We speculated what the next obstacle could be since the line was so long. This is where the brain gets tested. Do you whine and bitch, or do you suck it up and embrace the suck? Well, we all embraced it. With our hands tucked under our arm pits, we waited. Our estimate was about 30 minutes of this. The obstacle? Just a really steep hill where people descended at a worm's pace trying to not break their tail bones. The course was slippery and wet. People did not have the best shoes for this terrain. And it was dangerous. So we inched down until finally at the bottom. This was only one of many of these steep hills descents. This one just sticks out in my mind since there was such a long line to get down it. There were lots of ripped pants from them (including mine, just a couple of holes) and I saw a lot of crack.

And we were cold. Rest stops became shorter because standing around allowed the cold to set in. We also started to get more distance between each other. Cramps were running rampant amongst our team and well, all racers. Each aid station had mylar blankets so when at the top of the hill, all you saw were flecks of silver across the course. Not all the rest stops had bananas. At one particular rest stop, one of the boys said, "I could really use a banana." (or something along those lines). Sure enough, a guy dressed in a banana costume turns around "I'm right here." Classic. Timing/Irony was impeccable.

Happy Girl

Aside from the hills, my favorite obstacle was the log carry. You had the choice of a long log that you and a buddy carried or a round cross section of a trunk. I searched for the biggest cross section I could find. They were all pretty light, nothing compared to Log who resides at Mt. Airy. We carried our logs along a 1/2 mile motor cross course. So up and down little hills. I was happy. If I wasn't so stiff and cold, I would have skipped. I breezed right through switching my log from one arm to the other. This is in contrast to the IN Spartan when I searched for the smallest log for the first 2 carries and my dad had saved me a small one for the final carry. I was only 3 weeks into training then. Now, I'm a weirdo who loves carrying logs. I mean, seriously. Invite me over for your next bonfire. I've got a headlamp. I'll fetch logs all night. :)

Post Log Carry is where we started to really split up. We had been out there for hours. Did I mention it was cold? It was Brendan, Dave, and I for a while. We hit the Electric Eel. I skipped it, but planned on skipping it anyways. Long story short, I do not believe getting tazed proves your tough. Being electrocuted simply means you are an electrician, in trouble with the law, or a top secret agent being tortured for information. I am none of those things. Or am I? Hee Hee. So I watched Brendan and Dave belly slide through that thing and did not regret skipping it. Judging from their expressions and twitching bodies, it hurt like hell.

Onward and upward we went. Until, I saw the most wonderful vision ever. My husband!!! Pretty sure there may have been light radiating from him as I climbed the hill and saw him along the sidelines. He had my gloves!! He had Gu's, Salt Tabs, and Nuun for the boys and their cramps. We refueled. I got kissies. And then we were off again. This happened maybe around mile 7 or 8. It was right by the 10 foot Berlin Walls. Poor Brendan. As if he wasn't already beaten and bruised. He got knocked in the jewels a couple of times helping folks over the walls. Again, another obstacle the directors had not planned.

At this point Taylor had caught back up with us. We came upon the Boa Constrictor. Seriously, the worst obstacle in the history of OCR. You had to go down a black tube into water. Above the water was boards and barbed wire, so there was only enough room to stick your head out of the water. Already, this is suffocating. Then to get out of the water, you had to go back up a black tube. The scary part? You were forced to go under water to get out of the tube. In other words, the bottom part of the tube was completely submerged. Freaky. Some hesitation, again. Taylor literally shoved my butt up the tube. Then it was only a matter of crawling out and hoping your shoes had enough traction to get you out of the tube. It was intense to say the least. Oh, and Taylor is claustrophobic. Go Taylor! He did it!

James an I post race

After this, we really became segmented. The cold was bad. We finally grabbed mylar blankets. I eventually broke from group and ran the rest of the course skipping obstacles along the way. Every obstacle had water, and I was done with the water. Since I skipped obstacles, I told myself I had to run the rest. So I did. And it was great. I was never so happy to just be running and keeping my body temp up. I repeated the triple D's in my head to keep my mind occupied. Discipline, Determination, Drive. I passed people and kept on trucking until I was eventually at the end. Then I searched for Jon and my warm clothes for about 15 minutes. A shower was out of the question. Water was the enemy. We headed over to the Port-a-Potties. Jon unpinned my bib since I couldn't feel my hands. And I changed. In a Port-a-Potty. Took me forever. My tights are really tight around my ankles so with my numb hands it took about 10 minutes just to get those off. It was a slow process, but eventually I was in dry, warm clothes.

After 4-5 hours, we reconnected, hopped on the bus, walked to our cars, they passed around a bottle of Jack, and we went to McDonald's. Mmmmm....cheeseburgers. Yes, plural.

Overall, it was a great course. Although, too much water for me in the cold weather. It was 12 miles, and I think this fact escaped some people who signed up. Jon said the medics were pulling people of the course left and right. Its not easy. In fact, it lives up to its name. It was tough. TM definitely makes it a point to test racers mentally and reinforces the team aspect of its courses. I needed my team at several points during the course. I was scared/fearful when in the Boa Constrictor and Arctic Enema. I'm happy to be able to say I've done a TM, but I really don't think I will do another one. The price was steep and I'm not down with torture.

Now, time to prepare for the Super Spartan....